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Out of the Closet

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  • Out of the Closet

    I am over forty and interested in dating someone who is just coming out of the closet. I think it would be nice to be a mentor since I am older and more experienced. I think that someone coming out of the closet for the first time needs someone who has been there and done that. I remember the first time I came out, I was so insecure and scared. I got a lot of flack about my gay lifestyle and wish I had someone with experience to help me through it. I think it would be really cool and then I get to date someone possibly younger and curious.

  • #2
    Yes, I totally feel the same way that if you are just coming out of the closet, you want to be around people that will make you feel secure and teach you the ropes. I wish I had someone to offer me aid when people were bullshitting me and making me feel bad about coming out. But you have to be careful too cause you don't want to let the person feel like they cannot stand on their own two feet too.

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    • #3
      One thing you should know though about dating someone just coming out is that you have to be patient. Yeah, you have to have a lot of patience because remember they are new to the game and might need a lot of telling. Take it slow when it comes to the dating relationship. You are gonna have to encourage the person too when they have second thoughts about coming out. You are definitely gonna be a mentor.

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      • #4
        You also have to give the person some space to explore themselves to this new lifestyle. You will guide the person, but you also have to step back to see how well they take to your instructions. Remember, the person may be exploring their sexuality and at the point of coming out, this is fluid so they may change their mind about the gay lifestyle. So you have to be prepared for that too.

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        • #5
          Be sure to take your new coming out partner to gay clubs and bars so that he can become familiar with the places where other gays hang out and you will be seen as a couple too so your new partner will have to get used to being seen with another man and be comfortable with that.

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          • #6
            That is an unusual thing for an over 40 year old I think. Why would you want to be with someone just coming out when it is so stressful enough for them? Why would you want to take on that unnecessary stress? I wouldn't want to do that and I think you should consider all the stress that you will go through with that person.

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            • #7
              A person coming out of the closet might feel scared of sharing the news with family and friends. You could help him by sharing your experience and giving pointers to how best to tell loved ones. Encourage him to continue to share his feelings so you know where his head is at so you can offer more good advice.

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              • #8
                I really think it would be cool to be a mentor to someone who is newly gay. I would enjoy sharing my own personal experience so that he can grow into his own and be confident about the gay lifestyle. Thanks for the input.

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